Here I am, sitting on the couch, blogging. Before I blog, many thoughts appeared in my mind. 19 years of my life, what have I achieved? I can tell you the answer right away, NONE! I've no job experience. Not working of course do not have a stable income. I do wrote down quite a long list of to-do list or new year resolution. But, none is fufilled.

I really do not want to live in a fucked-up life. Like whatever I do, I need to listen to my parents or my grandparents. The only thing I want is giving me the freedom to do what I like to do. That's the only thing I ask for. I mean, c'mon, 19 years. From a baby to a teenager, you should know your daughter or your granddaughter inside out. I'm not one who goes clubbing. I'm not one who smokes. I'm not one who drinks. I'm not those kind of pai kia or chao ah lian. I'm not the kind of person who get astray easily. Yet I'm still being 'controlled' by them. Till now, I have curfew. The latest I reached home is 10pm? Can you guys believe it? A 19 year old teenager still has curfew.

2 more years and I'm an adult. I really can't believe how my life will be like by then. I want an independent life so badly. I want to go to overseas for further studies. I want every thing to be according to my wish. I want to do what I like to do. I do have my own dreams. I do not want my grandparents and parents to keep forcing me to do what I do not like to do, or I should say no interest in. Why can't they be like other people's parents or grandparents, support me in whatever decision I make? I just want freedom. Is it so difficult to give it to me?

Sigh, I really do not know what to do. I need a life, so badly. I really want to get out of this place.